台中學研究中心

博士論文選擇非營利組織發展合理價位住宅為主題對我有很大的啟蒙，只是很可惜，回來台灣已經26年了，卻無能在此領域有進一步研究貢獻，今夜突然想起，深感遺憾。也反省著，為什麼這麼多年來，即使參與不少非營利組織及NGO組織的運作，也擔任過惠來遺址保護協會理事長及中社社長，自己反覆想著: 為什麼始終沒辦法在NGO領域定根茁壯。

這是回來台灣後唯一整理的文章:  Community development intermediary systems in the United States: Origins, evolution, and functions

發表在Housing Policy Debate 1998/v9/issue 3

Acting between the forceful capital market and the state, community development intermediaries are finding ways to assist resource‐poor community development organizations to increase production volume and to gain access to a wider capital and political market.

This article presents a brief historical review of how the intermediary system originated and how it has evolved into different large‐scale models since the 1960s. The philosophies and programs of three major intermediary organizations—the Local Initiatives Support Corporation, The Enterprise Foundation, and the Neighborhood Reinvestment Corporation—are considered. The article concludes by recognizing the contributions of intermediaries while raising issues with their accountability and future direction.

因為資金不足嗎?還是能力不足?因為個性侷限，還是社會網絡不足?這麼多年來，受困於經濟問題，始終沒辦法有效解決，為了下一代，只能咬牙硬撐，累，但是卻沒有抱怨，很累，卻還是不夠。不夠，真的會讓人原地踏步，失去野心。

學術研究本來是最愛，回到台灣卻無法融入看似虛假的圈圈，政策參與雖然沒有間斷，卻總與政治人物有所隔閡。

這種人生，不三不四，真不知自己的下一代怎麼看自己的父親，上一代怎麼看自己的兒子。LIFE goes on and on.

母親走了，心裡很痛，父親的智力與行動日夜衰退，甚麼是家，甚麼是親情，羨慕人家之餘，卻無力改變。

自己很想多做一些，庸人總是自擾，原地踏步。

人的存在，價值可以無限大，也可能，只緣身上此山中，無緣入世造化弄人。

加油吧。NGO最愛，總有機會等到。

Did you ever have a dream? Of course I do. What is it? or What was it?

Well, it is still in my dream. I will tell you when I wake up, ok?

You might ask, should I be more optimistic or simply naive?

I don't really know the line between them, to be honest.

台中的NGO想成就事情嗎?壞事，反對、人身攻擊、雙重標準可以成就甚麼?執政、實務，由內而外真的不可行嗎?這是台灣、台中的宿命嗎?

Is there rooms for progressvie reform from inside out, rather than outside never in?

To be or not to be is a question that deserves a better answer than where we are in, right?